2:35 p.m. - 2008-05-15
Limbo
So I really have no idea what I want to do. I do love my husband. But I just don�t trust him anymore. My heart no longer belongs to him.
His girlfriend wasn�t texting him or calling for about 3 days, then she started back yesterday afternoon. I guess I hoped she would just leave him alone. I know he won�t tell her that he can�t talk to her anymore. I already asked him to do that. And well obviously he hasn�t done that yet.
He was home last night, and while I am making dinner he asks how my day was, he didn�t even finish the question before he starts talking about something completely different. Why did he ask if he didn�t actually want me to answer?
I have two phone numbers for therapists, so we could try counseling. I have yet to dial either one. I just don�t know if I even care. I don�t know if I want it fixed. I am so sick of this problem. I think I have spent more of my marriage wishing I wasn�t in it, than just enjoying it, or even tolerating it.
I hate this feeling of being trapped and stuck in something that every once in a while doesn�t feel so claustrophobic. I wish it either sucked or didn�t, I can�t stand this life in limbo.
