1:51 p.m. - Wednesday, Nov. 26, 2008
Sexual Electricity, Does it really exist?
Thought or should I say Hoped, it was getting better. I was wrong. I mean I don�t think about blue eyes on the weekends, as much, but as soon as I start thinking about work he pops in my mind. And I get so frustrated, I don�t want to think about him, especially since thinking about him makes muscles in my body tighten and wetness appear. So I have been trying to tell myself that even if we were single, he wouldn�t really want me anyway. Especially since he doesn�t always flirt.
Today I was thinking, I am sure he won�t come in my office and �I don�t care anyway!� (yeah right). Then of course he does and he shakes my hand, and I (not thinking about it) kinda make it linger, as he pulls his hand away I don�t completely let go and so his fingers slide along mine as he pulls his hand away, OH MY! Well he says �oh wait we got to do this again I didn�t let it linger like you did� and he shakes my hand again, and he does what I did, so now our fingers slide and it is slower and his hands are VERY NICE and I was hot and bothered and tingly! DAMN HE IS HOT! And he makes me hot. Just one hour alone, oh what I wouldn�t give!
Then there is my husband, oh why does it have to be this way. Almost everything is better, the almost is the sex. I just don�t care, I can do what we do together alone. I want to want to touch and kiss and lick and make out and smell his skin. I just don�t. He isn�t unattractive at all, but I just don�t get hot for him at all. I hate this fact so much, because we are good friends, we are making everything else work, we talk and we don�t scream so much, but will the sex thing get to be too much? I want to feel satisfied, completely. I want the entire experience to be mind blowing, I want electricity to flow from my body to his, is this just too much to ask?
