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9:42 a.m. - 2008-10-23
Hurry up and wait!
I know I suck, I never update, but I just don�t know what to say, my life is weird, it doesn�t really suck, but it isn�t great either. I don�t know what to do about my marriage, I am still so scared to trust him again, but I feel like if I don�t at least try then it will be all my fault and I can�t live with that. But I just can�t seem to put the effort forth, I am so tired of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel start to get brighter then in 3 seconds flat it returns to a pin point hundreds of miles away! And I just don�t know if I can ever truly have everything I want in a relationship with him. I am not sexually attracted to him, at least not right now. But we have never had that passionate chemistry thing that you read about. And I really want that. So here I am again, stuck in a hurry up and wait place.

 

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