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1:13 p.m. - 2008-09-17
The Cost of Being Thin
My heart is racing from the lunch I ate. I hate that almost everything I eat makes me feel ill in some way. It seems the more I like it the more likely it is to make me sick. I love being thin and the sacrifice is worth it. I just wish I knew exactly when to stop so I don�t feel anything but satisfied. With certain foods it doesn�t matter though, if I eat, it will make me sick, no matter how little I allow myself. I am now the skinny person who was screaming to get out. And I refuse to ever hide under 100 pounds of fat again. I went through A LOT to get where I am and if I have to feel ill to remind myself to slow down, well that is what I have to deal with. I wouldn�t just flat out recommend to anyone who is obese to get Gastric Bypass surgery, but I would suggest they do the research. It isn�t easy, but it isn�t as hard as doing it all on your own. The hard part is getting used to not having food as a crutch. I am a depressive eater and I yanked that crutch and crushed it, no going back. It took me three months to learn to find other ways out of my blackness. It takes patience and concentration to not hurt myself when I eat, if I let myself get too hungry I eat too fast and end up in several different kinds of pain, i.e. nausea, head rush from sugar or fatty foods, food stuck and won�t move, or my stomach feels like it is stretching to the breaking point. With all that, it is still worth never being a plus size person again. I am normal, not perfect, but normal. I like that.

 

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