1:42 p.m. - 2008-08-20
Drunk
So I did the stupid drunk thing Friday night. I didn�t go too too far, but I was headed in that direction. I really just need to realize I shouldn�t drink, I always feel like I did something wrong even when I didn�t and worse when I did. We went to a party at a friend�s house, and I am guessing this particular friend is hoping for more. And the state at which my marriage is in, I really shouldn�t be around anyone who might possibly want me, especially while I am drunk. My husband was there with me, which I have to say is a good thing. I think things would have gotten seriously out of control if he wasn�t. They got bad enough with him there. Anyway, it caused a long drawn out, drunk talk when we got home. I told him so many things I am sure I would normally just let go. I told him some things he already knew, and things he didn�t. I did tell him to stop acting like we are okay, we aren�t, I honestly don�t know if we ever will be. I think maybe we could be, if we could start fresh, like a couple that just met, and we have to get to know each other all over again. But I don�t know, I don�t know if that is what I want. But I guess that doesn�t really matter, it isn�t all about me. What I do about this doesn�t just affect me, if we didn�t have kids I know I would have been gone a very long time ago.
