4:02 p.m. - 2008-06-11
Keeping Hope Alive
I didn�t kiss my husband good night last night. I just haven�t felt like touching him. He annoys me, and so touching him is not something pleasant when I feel this way. So of course the ass follows me, I went to bed because I was tired, not to get away from him. Oh how I wish I had a tape recorder hidden in my room. I can�t remember everything he said, but I know I wanted to scream almost every time he opened his mouth. He makes no damn sense, he said he wants a quick solution, WTF does that mean, we are broken, the only damn quick solution is for one of us to die. Divorce or trying to fix it either way it is going to take some serious time and patients. I told him again how just the mention of his damn girlfriend bitch puts me over the edge and what do you know, he fucking talks to me about her again, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HER LIKE IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER! I can�t believe how fucking thick headed he is. I still don�t want to be divorced. But I am so scared that as soon as let all my guards down and trust him again, that he is going to hurt me again. We start counseling on the 23rd; I guess we will see if we can save this marriage. I would truly hate to throw away 14 years. I also bought this book His Needs, Her Needs it is supposed to make any marriage work and even feel brand new. Here�s me keeping hope alive.
