2:45 p.m. - 2008-06-05
Same Fucking Shit, Different Fucking Day!
I feel like I will never truly be happy. I am staring at two numbers for counselors. I don�t know what to do, or more truthfully I don�t know what I want to do. He just annoys me so much. When he came home last night I just sighed and said, well there goes my quiet evening. Then he does his usual bullshit and starts complaining about the fact that I got to go food and asking how much I spent, and kicking shit because my son left a French fry box sitting on the couch. And I guess the kids forgot to take the dog out to potty and she peed in my bedroom, so he starts freaking out about that. I just wanted to cry. I really don�t know, I just don�t want to care anymore. I want to not give a shit and just sale the house and just have my own life. I don�t think I will be any happier, I don�t have that much faith in the universe, but at least it will be all on me. But the idea of that scares me too. I was talking to my friend P, and she said maybe we should try a separation and see how it goes. If we both find we would rather be with someone else then there you go, or if we both find we want to be together, then well happiness, if one finds someone and the other wants back together, again there it is. Damn it! Life is a pain in my ass!
