2:30 p.m. - 2008-05-06
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I am feeling pointlessly blah today. I don�t know what the problem is. I am feeling empty again. It doesn�t make any sense, but life seldom does, to me anyway.
I want to start working a couple nights a week at one of the local restaurants as a waitress; it has to have a bar though so I can eventually get back to bartending. I love bartending! I want to meet new people and I figure that is a pretty good way to go about it. I could be out, meet new people and get paid for it. I just feel like I have no friends. Two of my friends moved, and my best friend just got divorced and I am still married so it just isn�t that same. It sucks too, I miss her so much.
Haven�t seen Blue Eyes at all today. Shit for all I know he didn�t even come to work.
There are three men in the building that openly flirt with me, two I would NEVER touch, but it is okay that they flirt, I just smile or laugh, but I don�t discourage it, it makes me feel nice, like maybe I could be considered sexy and beautiful. Blue Eyes is the other, he just isn�t consistent, one day he flirts hard, and then others he acts like we have never spoken as if we could be even friends. He drives me nuts.
I crave something, I don�t think it is attention, I just want to know that maybe every once in awhile I cross your mind. I want to believe you miss me when I am not there. And it would be nice to hear from you when or if I do.
