kimluvs2read's Diaryland Diary

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Limbo

So I really have no idea what I want to do. I do love my husband. But I just don’t trust him anymore. My heart no longer belongs to him.

His girlfriend wasn’t texting him or calling for about 3 days, then she started back yesterday afternoon. I guess I hoped she would just leave him alone. I know he won’t tell her that he can’t talk to her anymore. I already asked him to do that. And well obviously he hasn’t done that yet.

He was home last night, and while I am making dinner he asks how my day was, he didn’t even finish the question before he starts talking about something completely different. Why did he ask if he didn’t actually want me to answer?

I have two phone numbers for therapists, so we could try counseling. I have yet to dial either one. I just don’t know if I even care. I don’t know if I want it fixed. I am so sick of this problem. I think I have spent more of my marriage wishing I wasn’t in it, than just enjoying it, or even tolerating it.

I hate this feeling of being trapped and stuck in something that every once in a while doesn’t feel so claustrophobic. I wish it either sucked or didn’t, I can’t stand this life in limbo.

2:35 p.m. - 2008-05-15

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