kimluvs2read's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Possible Ending I didn’t want to believe it; I have been fighting it for about 5 months now. But I have no choice anymore. She hasn’t and doesn’t seem to want to forgive me. I guess I need to accept it. We aren’t okay, and she blames me for what happened, completely. I put us there in that situation, so her actions once there are my fault, because if I hadn’t put us there, she wouldn’t have had the chance to do something stupid. I know this for sure now and I hate it, because I really have lost someone I truly cared about, all over doing something stupid while being drunk. The proof is in the words: My daughter and I went to a jewelry party at a friends of hers (we will call her P), so at P’s friends party, my daughter says to P, “you are closer to J”. P says, “I have known your mother longer.” Not, “no way, me and your mom are best friends, been there for each other, we are much closer!” And there was no love in what she said, the emotion in her words was more like, “If I hadn’t known her as long as I have, I wouldn’t be friends with her at all anymore.” I just wish she would be honest with me. I felt it pretty much the day after her birthday, I knew it then, and I even said to her that I was sorry and that I hoped she wouldn’t hate me for it. She said she didn’t blame me. But there is no other reason why she would be mad at me. I haven’t done anything else. But this seems to be the story of my life. I just can’t seem to keep friends, shit I can’t seem to make them. I try to be an honest person; I guess most people don’t really want honesty. I have no idea what anyone wants, I guess that is the issue, I try to be the real me and apparently that person is not wanted. 11:36 a.m. - 2008-04-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||