So I did the stupid drunk thing Friday night. I didn’t go too too far, but I was headed in that direction. I really just need to realize I shouldn’t drink, I always feel like I did something wrong even when I didn’t and worse when I did. We went to a party at a friend’s house, and I am guessing this particular friend is hoping for more. And the state at which my marriage is in, I really shouldn’t be around anyone who might possibly want me, especially while I am drunk. My husband was there with me, which I have to say is a good thing. I think things would have gotten seriously out of control if he wasn’t. They got bad enough with him there. Anyway, it caused a long drawn out, drunk talk when we got home. I told him so many things I am sure I would normally just let go. I told him some things he already knew, and things he didn’t. I did tell him to stop acting like we are okay, we aren’t, I honestly don’t know if we ever will be. I think maybe we could be, if we could start fresh, like a couple that just met, and we have to get to know each other all over again. But I don’t know, I don’t know if that is what I want. But I guess that doesn’t really matter, it isn’t all about me. What I do about this doesn’t just affect me, if we didn’t have kids I know I would have been gone a very long time ago.
2008-08-20 @ 1:42 p.m.
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This is me.
I love.
I love some people who don't love me back!
I hate
I hate that I need to be loved!People
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